Get Clear with your date Sooner: Why Early Clarity in Dating Protects Your Heart

In my last post, we talked about how a man might not commit—not because you're not amazing, but because the version of himself he'd need to be to meet you just isn't available right now.

That kind of self-awareness is rare, and it's not about you needing to "wait around" while he figures it out. It's about you getting clear on what you want early on, so you don't waste time in emotional limbo.

Here's why this clarity matters so much:

• Dating without clarity and transparency often leads to staying too long in something that feels "almost right." While you're in that emotional gray area, the right relationship might just pass you by.

• A man's goodness doesn't always equal his readiness. He may be kind, generous, and even deeply attracted to you, but if he's not in a place to co-create the relationship you desire, those mismatched intentions will leave you feeling disappointed or confused.

• Clarity helps you honor your own standards and filter for alignment, not just chemistry and connection. When you know what you're looking for—and you gently express that—you naturally weed out the ones who aren't ready, without shame or blame.

Now, let's talk about how to express what you're looking for without sounding like you're handing him an ultimatum. Because love isn't a gamble when you're clear on the stakes.

Express with Warmth, Self-Worth, and Openness

You can absolutely protect your heart like a high-value woman while being open and clear.

On a first date (or early on), try asking: "What are you looking to get out of dating right now?" Then, hopefully, he'll ask you the same question.

Asking this early on is important for a few key reasons:

1. You're less attached to the outcome of his response.

2. You're less vulnerable because you haven't invested too much yet.

3. You waste less time overall if your intentions don't align.

Even if you're not sure you want a second date, practice this. The more you verbalize your desires:

• The better you'll become at expressing them.

• The more confident you'll feel speaking your truth.

• The more you speak, the more you manifest what you truly want.

The Power of Your Own Clarity

Ultimately, understanding why a man might not commit isn't about blaming him or waiting for him to change. It's about empowering you. When you step into dating with clarity about what you want and the courage to express it warmly and confidently, you transform the dating landscape. You stop gambling with your heart and start building a future aligned with your deepest desires.

So, go forth, speak your truth, and remember: the right relationship isn't about finding someone to complete you, but someone ready to co-create an amazing life by your side.

He’s a Good Man… But He’s Not Ready: Why That Matters More Than You Think

Let’s talk about something that trips up a lot of smart, amazing women:
You meet a man.
He’s kind. You feel amazing chemistry and connection. He’s respectful.
He might even say all the right things...
But something’s off. He doesn’t make consistent plans. You’re unsure where it’s going. There’s no forward motion.

And you start spiraling:
Is he just scared? Is this my cue to be patient? Am I asking for too much?

👑 Hear this, Queen. Oftentimes, your standards are not a burden; they are your strength. You are not asking for too much – you are simply standing in your worth, and some men will not be prepared to close the gap. Even a good man.

The undeniable truth is this: When a man encounters a woman radiating high standards, profound emotional intelligence, and an unwavering vision for love, it acts as a mirror. He sees the version of himself that he must live to truly meet you in healthy partnership.

To be your man, he would need to embody the values and integrity you live by – the undeniable traits of a high-value woman. And the simple fact is, not every man is in a place in his life to do that or he is unwilling to undertake that ascent.

Even if he is capable at some point.

💡Some won’t commit — not because you’re not incredible — but because they know they can’t live up to what it takes to be your man.
That’s not about your worthiness.

It’s not about your chemistry or compatiblity either.

That’s reality of where he is in his life right now.

🧠 It’s not always about character. Sometimes it’s timing.
He might be a good guy…
…fresh out of a divorce.
…building his business from the ground up.
…raising teenagers solo.
And while those are all noble things, they can also mean he doesn’t have the bandwidth to build something solid with you.

Let me say this louder for the ladies in the back:

Don’t fall in love with potential.

🔥 Fall in love with how he shows up now.
Not how you hope he will. Not what he could become.
You deserve someone who’s already in motion, already doing the inner and outer work — not someone who makes you feel like you’re constantly “waiting for him to get there.”

Because the right man?
He won’t make you guess.
He won’t breadcrumb you between business meetings or late-night texts.
He’ll pursue you, prioritize you, and plan for a future — without you needing to lead that dance.

So if you’re currently feeling that “almost” energy from someone...
Have an honest conversation or let it go.

You’re not here to wait around enlessly hoping they grow into who you need.

You’re here to meet the man who’s already the guy.

💗 You bring the depth. You bring the fire. You bring the vision.
Let him match your energy and vision with the consistency and the readiness.

If he can’t remember….

You’re not hard to love —
He’s just not ready to rise.

Handling Election Angst: Finding Peace Amid Uncertainty

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the election season? Do you find yourself constantly scrolling through newsfeeds, feeling anxious and uncertain about the future? I heard a description of election night described as the feeling of waiting for the outcome of a cancer biopsy.  OMG!

As election night approaches, many people are feeling a growing sense of anxiety, dread, and even outrage about what might happen. I've heard friends and family members talking about the election like it's a matter of life or death. Some are convinced that if their preferred candidate doesn’t win, the economy will collapse. Relationships are strained, with people arguing or even cutting ties over political differences.

It’s understandable to feel nervous. Election outcomes are big and can shape our country's future. But for many, the emotional intensity around this event feels like waiting for the results of a cancer biopsy—nervous, on edge, and uncertain of what’s next. This type of energy is overwhelming, and it’s easy to get caught in the storm of fear and worst-case scenarios.

Here’s the thing: if we tie our happiness, peace of mind, or sense of security to any outside event—whether it’s an election, job, or relationship—we give away our power. We make our well-being dependent on something we can’t control.

And while elections matter, the ultimate source of your happiness or unhappiness is not who sits in the White House.

Live Your Life as a Sovereign Being

This is a vital truth to remember if you’re seeking real happiness and empowerment. Incorporate the following belief as an affirmation or hypnosis suggestion into your core belief arsenal. Make it one you live by and that you instill in your children and clients:

No outside person, place, or situation determines my happiness or well-being.

True sovereignty comes from within.

For me, personally, I feel strongly about which candidate I hope will win. But I’ve learned to hold a higher vision for my life that isn’t dependent on election results. Whether my candidate wins or loses, I choose to believe that my happiness, my ability to thrive, and even the economy’s ability to flourish is not bound to this moment.

This mindset frees me. It allows me to handle whatever comes with more positivity, grace, and resilience. I can feel passionate about the issues, but I also trust that I can create my own reality, regardless of the outcome.

You Can Choose to Thrive—No Matter What

I invite you to step into this empowered mindset as well. Instead of letting external events dictate your emotional state, choose to believe in your own power to create a life of abundance, happiness, and resilience—no matter who wins the election.

If you're feeling anxious about the outcome and would like to work on elevating your beliefs to align with resilience and abundance, I’d love to help. Book a coaching session with me, and together, we’ll work on building the mindset and tools you need to thrive—no matter what the world throws your way.

Your peace and power are yours to claim. Let’s make sure you know how to hold onto them.

To your sovereignty and well-being,
Rebecca Taylor Shaw

Lessons in Love and Loss: The Legacy of My Beagle Named Cody

My 14-year-old beagle, Cody, died suddenly in my arms on a cold metal table in the back office of a veterinary clinic. I had driven two hours to Columbia, SC, where he was visiting my son in college. A frantic call from my son a few days prior had signaled the urgent trip, and upon arrival, Cody looked drastically different from the vibrant pet I had seen six weeks prior at Christmas.

I had naively thought I was prepared for his passing, especially since he was nearing 15 and had shown no signs of slowing down at our last meeting. The vet gave me a few final moments alone with him, his heart slowing to thirty-four beats per minute. Overwhelmed, I found myself sobbing, gently rubbing his velvety ears and soft, scruffy neck, reminiscing about our lives together.

In those moments, a particular memory surfaced: the day we brought Cody home. My son, merely eight years old at the time, was filled with a mix of disbelief and joy, repeatedly asking, "Is he really ours?" That day, our family had expanded with an unspoken promise of shared adventures and countless memories. Cody's eager eyes and wagging tail had sealed an unbreakable bond, one that had enriched our lives beyond measure.

As Cody's journey with us came to an end, it wasn't just his life that flashed before my eyes, but the entirety of our shared experiences. This dog, the epitome of a happy, hungry, and pack-loving beagle, had been more than a pet; he was a central part of our family's tapestry.

Leaving the clinic without him, I was engulfed by a profound sadness, one that extended beyond the immediate loss. It was a reflection on the countless times I had hurried out the door, too preoccupied to cherish the moments with Cody, who was always eager for my attention. It dawned on me that the depth of my sorrow was tied to these missed opportunities for connection, moments when love was available, but I chose haste over heart.

This realization brought me to a broader contemplation about love and vulnerability. In the face of emotional pain, it's tempting to close off our hearts, to vow never to expose ourselves to such depths of sorrow again. Yet, in doing so, we deny ourselves the essence of living fully. Cody's passing reminded me that the pain of loss is inextricably linked to the capacity to love and be loved.

So, on this Valentine's Day, I extend a gentle reminder to embrace love in all its forms. Tell those important to you that they are loved, not just today but every day. And for those who have built walls around their hearts, consider this an invitation to dismantle them, piece by piece. Love, in its purest form, is worth the risk of heartache.

As I reflect on my time with Cody, I am reminded that while the pain of loss is inevitable, the joy of love is irreplaceable. May we all have the courage to keep our hearts open, to love and be loved, without reservation. My love goes out to each and every one of you, wherever you may be today.

The Real Meaning Behind Being an Introvert or Extrovert That Can Drastically Improve Your Relationships for the Better

I want to share some information with you today that was a gamechanger for me. I’ve actually known about this information for a long time but I shared it with a friend yesterday in passing and he told me the information was so valuable that he was stunned.  He said it explained a number of things about his family dynamics, his divorce, and his current single dating life.  I’ll share what he said at the end of the email.

My intention is that this information will be a gamechanger for many of you also the area of interpersonal relationships. 

The topic is INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS

Introvert and extrovert are two commonly used terms in psychology to describe different personality traits and preferences regarding social interaction.

For most of my life, I thought that being introverted meant being shy and that extroverted meant being outgoing.  I discovered the true definition of these terms when my children began having conflict with each other after my oldest child began kindergarten. 

Our family had just moved here from California literally days before my daughter began her first day of kindergarten.  Her younger brother who was fifteen months younger would watch her get on the school bus every morning and rush to meet her at the door upon her arrival home.  He had been home all day with mom and not much to occupy him yet as we were still in the unpacking and setting up house phase. 

Olivia would come in have a snack and then proceed to her room and close the door typically reading or doing something quiet.  Well her brother was not happy about this.  He wanted to play and interact.  And the more he begged for her attention the more they would quarrel and bicker until she started coming home and going immediately to her room and closing the door. It honestly caused my son to act out and even hit her at times because he wanted her attention so badly!

Do you or your spouse or partner have a similar adult experience after a long day of work? Haha!  You know the kind where one of you has been inside in the house all day and the other comes from work and just wants to be alone.  This, for many couples creates resentment or even conflict. Feelings of being devalued or unappreciated can occur on both the side of the one wanting attention and the side of the one just wanting some time and space to decompress before stepping into the parenting and homemaking duties or sharing about each other’s day.

Well, when you understand the true definitions of introvert vs extrovert, you might find that the degree of harmony in your home greatly improves!

An introvert is someone who tends to be more inwardly focused, drawing energy from solitary activities and internal thoughts. Introverts often prefer spending time alone or in small groups. Introverts often engage in introspection and may have a smaller circle of close friends or prefer one-on-one interactions. And the key element that I want to point out to you, dear reader, is that introverts may feel drained or exhausted after extended periods of social interaction. They typically enjoy quiet and calm environments and may require alone time to recharge and regain their energy.

On the other hand, an extrovert is someone who tends to be more outwardly focused, gaining energy from socializing and external stimuli. Extroverts are often energized by being around others and enjoy engaging in social activities. They may be more talkative, expressive, and outgoing, and they tend to seek out new experiences and interactions. Extroverts often feel recharged and rejuvenated after socializing and may thrive in larger social settings or group activities.  And Ironically, they tend to feel more drained and tired when they are deprived of social interaction!

It's important to note that introversion and extroversion exist on a spectrum, and most individuals exhibit characteristics of both to some degree. Some people may fall closer to the middle of the spectrum and are referred to as ambiverts, displaying a balance of both introverted and extroverted traits depending on the situation.

When I learned the nature of introvert vs extrovert, I understood that I had given birth to one of each and that I could make life much easier on myself as a mother and my children if I paid attention to the signs in my children that indicated they were needing to align with their introvert or extravert nature. For my daughter, giving her dedicated time alone after school before chores, homework and playtime made a much happier child. 

And for my son, it meant purposely scheduling more playtimes and outing with friends on a regular basis.  Because honestly, when I didn’t he would become grumpy and pick on his sister more! Things began to improve with him as I taught him, around age six, to understand his own nature. As a result, he began to communicate to me when he needed re-energizing experiences. At times, he would simply inform me by pulling me out of a project and say, “Mom, we need to go somewhere.”  At others, he would say, “Mom, you know how I get when I have been home alone for a while!”  Yes, I did…like a bull in a china shop…. “Yes, I do son.  Let’s go do something!” I would reply.

 ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

The Introvert vs Extrovert Game Changer Knowledge

How many of you said this or hear someone else say this during the lockdowns of Covid-19??  “I don’t mind this at all.  I am perfectly happy just staying home!” In fact, one of my clients told me she was happier than she had ever been in her life.  She works from home as a bookkeeper and got to spend comparatively quiet days with her husband.  

Understanding your own nature as an introvert vs extrovert is vitally important in romantic relationships.  It could be a lynchpin in a healthy, happy. and harmonious romantic relationship.

Introverts may trend towards wanting quiet, alone time when they first return home from a busy day at work. They may choose to take time to do solitary activities away from their partner which is not necessarily an indication of him or her not appreciating, enjoying or loving you.  When you understand this, you don’t have to take it as a sign of rejection or your partner not wanting to be with you as much. 

And when your introvert partner goes to a party with you and after a couple hours says, “I’m done.  I’m ready to go home, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is a stick in the mud.  It could mean they’ve simply reached their limit of what feels like enjoyable and comfortable social interaction and are not feeling the call to return home to re-energize.

On the other hand, if you are an introvert partnered with an extrovert, grilling at home and spending quiet nights at home every weekend can literally cause an extrovert to become lethargic, irritated,  and at the extreme sad and depressed.  An introvert who doesn’t understand this may perceive that their partner undervalues him or her and feels jealous or hurt that your extrovert partner wants to spend time out going to a concert or socializing. 

Trust me, extraverts are not necessarily needy. 

They simply re-energize by being around more people and more lively social experiences.

My friend told me that after our conversation yesterday, it explained the conflict between his two children and he believes that it not having this information was the source of much conflict between him and his ex-wife, him being the introvert who wanted quiet and order at the end of a long workday before diving into parenting and interacting.  It also explained why his youngest daughter would never let him sleep in on a Saturday morning.  She would pounce on dad by eight am after she had been up for a couple hours wanting him to play. 

However, he said the most valuable area that the understanding of these concepts was to him currently was with the woman he was dating.  Last Saturday, he wanted a night in and she agreed to come see him after going to hear live music early in the evening.  At first he felt slighted.  Now, he saw her in a different light.  “Oh, she’s definitely an extrovert!  I though her wanting to see the live music before me meant that  I wasn’t that important to her.  Now, I see that she just needed more social interaction than I wanted to involve myself in that night. And actually, when she did come over, we had a fantastic time.”

Conclusion:

If you would like coaching on how to create more harmonious relationships with your children, romantic partner, or spouse,

I offer one hour or ninety minute dedicated coaching only sessions to my clients. 

I am very passionate about helping you to lead a happier, healthier and more harmonious life!

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Personal Development Coach with years of experience helping people to make the unconscious conscious. Once something in your life is conscious, that awareness puts you in the powerful position to create positive and lasting change.

Sign up for my coaching sessions today and start your journey towards a healthier, happier you!

IS THE OLD ADAGE "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS" REALLY TRUE?

With a career spanning 27 years in personal development, I've dedicated myself to uncovering concepts that augment our happiness, health, and prosperity. Throughout this series, I will share the breakthroughs that have shaped my journey, hoping they might illuminate yours too!

Today, we explore an age-old saying that most of us have grown up hearing: "Actions speak louder than words." We've always been told that what we do matters more than what we say. But is this adage universally true? Or is there more to the story?  For myself and thousands of clients, a more important consideration emerged: "In fact, it's more important to control your thoughts."

Decoding this enlightening perspective requires a deep dive into the interconnected realms of actions, words, and thoughts.

Why Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

There's an undeniable potency in the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words." It underscores the idea that promises and pretty speeches are worth less than tangible, visible actions. In essence, it is what we do rather than what we say that truly defines us.

In the court of public opinion, actions are our most reliable witnesses. They are tangible, noticeable, and measurable. They are the vivid paintings that illustrate our character in the gallery of life. Our words might suggest we are compassionate, driven, or disciplined, but it is our actions that provide the irrefutable evidence of such qualities.

However, as we elevate our understanding, we realize there is a layer deeper than actions, an uncharted territory that resides within us: our thoughts.

The Power of Thoughts: The Conductor Behind Actions

At first glance, focusing on actions seems more pragmatic. After all, we live in a physical world where material outcomes carry weight. But actions, as powerful as they might be, are merely the surface level manifestations of something much more profound: our thoughts.

Every action is preceded by a thought.

It is our internal dialogue, our mindset, which shapes our decisions and, ultimately, our actions.

Consequently, our thoughts are the architects of our reality.

Think of your mind as the director of an orchestra, with each musician representing an action. Without the conductor's guidance, the symphony transforms into a cacophony. To create a harmonious melody in life, controlling your thoughts—the conductor—becomes vitally important.

Why Control Your Thoughts?

To control does not mean to suppress or resist; rather, it is about understanding, directing, and cultivating our thought patterns.  

Our thoughts are like seeds; what we plant in the fertile soil of our minds determines the fruits we harvest in our lives. Planting seeds of positivity, self-love, intention, and resilience result in a bounty of empowering actions.

It is within this mind-garden that our true potential resides. By controlling our thoughts, we can reshape our beliefs, rewrite our narratives, and ultimately reorient our actions. The actions, which speak louder to the world, will then be an echo of a robust, self-affirming internal dialogue.

In my personal experience, the understanding of how important it is to manage my thoughts came to the forefront when my business had to close for several months during the Covid-19 shutdown. I found myself not only caught up in the collective fear but also fear for providing for myself and my children as a single mother.  It became apparent quickly that my thoughts could work for me or against me.  I took the lockdown time to invest in an online business development program and to begin a more diligent practice of training my thoughts to stay positive.  I perceived my mind to be like a muscle and I strengthened it everyday through challenging myself to focus on and hold thoughts that were positive.  I see it like a challenge for my rebellious self to never let any situation hold me back or down for very long.  And since then….

I tell myself that I will assume and ultimately find the advantage in every situation!

The Call to Mastery

Your thoughts are like the software code that produces your emotions and your consistent actions. Tweaking this code can bring profound changes in your actions and consequently, your life.  

It might sound daunting, but remember, you're not alone in this journey.

Helping people with this is my passion and my expertise.

Mindset coaching can be your ally, your mentor in this journey of mastering your thoughts. A mindset coach guides you to navigate your thought patterns, helping you to recognize limiting beliefs, cultivating empowering thoughts, and fostering an internal environment that promotes growth, resilience, and positivity.

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