The Real Meaning Behind Being an Introvert or Extrovert That Can Drastically Improve Your Relationships for the Better

I want to share some information with you today that was a gamechanger for me. I’ve actually known about this information for a long time but I shared it with a friend yesterday in passing and he told me the information was so valuable that he was stunned.  He said it explained a number of things about his family dynamics, his divorce, and his current single dating life.  I’ll share what he said at the end of the email.

My intention is that this information will be a gamechanger for many of you also the area of interpersonal relationships. 

The topic is INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS

Introvert and extrovert are two commonly used terms in psychology to describe different personality traits and preferences regarding social interaction.

For most of my life, I thought that being introverted meant being shy and that extroverted meant being outgoing.  I discovered the true definition of these terms when my children began having conflict with each other after my oldest child began kindergarten. 

Our family had just moved here from California literally days before my daughter began her first day of kindergarten.  Her younger brother who was fifteen months younger would watch her get on the school bus every morning and rush to meet her at the door upon her arrival home.  He had been home all day with mom and not much to occupy him yet as we were still in the unpacking and setting up house phase. 

Olivia would come in have a snack and then proceed to her room and close the door typically reading or doing something quiet.  Well her brother was not happy about this.  He wanted to play and interact.  And the more he begged for her attention the more they would quarrel and bicker until she started coming home and going immediately to her room and closing the door. It honestly caused my son to act out and even hit her at times because he wanted her attention so badly!

Do you or your spouse or partner have a similar adult experience after a long day of work? Haha!  You know the kind where one of you has been inside in the house all day and the other comes from work and just wants to be alone.  This, for many couples creates resentment or even conflict. Feelings of being devalued or unappreciated can occur on both the side of the one wanting attention and the side of the one just wanting some time and space to decompress before stepping into the parenting and homemaking duties or sharing about each other’s day.

Well, when you understand the true definitions of introvert vs extrovert, you might find that the degree of harmony in your home greatly improves!

An introvert is someone who tends to be more inwardly focused, drawing energy from solitary activities and internal thoughts. Introverts often prefer spending time alone or in small groups. Introverts often engage in introspection and may have a smaller circle of close friends or prefer one-on-one interactions. And the key element that I want to point out to you, dear reader, is that introverts may feel drained or exhausted after extended periods of social interaction. They typically enjoy quiet and calm environments and may require alone time to recharge and regain their energy.

On the other hand, an extrovert is someone who tends to be more outwardly focused, gaining energy from socializing and external stimuli. Extroverts are often energized by being around others and enjoy engaging in social activities. They may be more talkative, expressive, and outgoing, and they tend to seek out new experiences and interactions. Extroverts often feel recharged and rejuvenated after socializing and may thrive in larger social settings or group activities.  And Ironically, they tend to feel more drained and tired when they are deprived of social interaction!

It's important to note that introversion and extroversion exist on a spectrum, and most individuals exhibit characteristics of both to some degree. Some people may fall closer to the middle of the spectrum and are referred to as ambiverts, displaying a balance of both introverted and extroverted traits depending on the situation.

When I learned the nature of introvert vs extrovert, I understood that I had given birth to one of each and that I could make life much easier on myself as a mother and my children if I paid attention to the signs in my children that indicated they were needing to align with their introvert or extravert nature. For my daughter, giving her dedicated time alone after school before chores, homework and playtime made a much happier child. 

And for my son, it meant purposely scheduling more playtimes and outing with friends on a regular basis.  Because honestly, when I didn’t he would become grumpy and pick on his sister more! Things began to improve with him as I taught him, around age six, to understand his own nature. As a result, he began to communicate to me when he needed re-energizing experiences. At times, he would simply inform me by pulling me out of a project and say, “Mom, we need to go somewhere.”  At others, he would say, “Mom, you know how I get when I have been home alone for a while!”  Yes, I did…like a bull in a china shop…. “Yes, I do son.  Let’s go do something!” I would reply.

 ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

The Introvert vs Extrovert Game Changer Knowledge

How many of you said this or hear someone else say this during the lockdowns of Covid-19??  “I don’t mind this at all.  I am perfectly happy just staying home!” In fact, one of my clients told me she was happier than she had ever been in her life.  She works from home as a bookkeeper and got to spend comparatively quiet days with her husband.  

Understanding your own nature as an introvert vs extrovert is vitally important in romantic relationships.  It could be a lynchpin in a healthy, happy. and harmonious romantic relationship.

Introverts may trend towards wanting quiet, alone time when they first return home from a busy day at work. They may choose to take time to do solitary activities away from their partner which is not necessarily an indication of him or her not appreciating, enjoying or loving you.  When you understand this, you don’t have to take it as a sign of rejection or your partner not wanting to be with you as much. 

And when your introvert partner goes to a party with you and after a couple hours says, “I’m done.  I’m ready to go home, it doesn’t necessarily mean he or she is a stick in the mud.  It could mean they’ve simply reached their limit of what feels like enjoyable and comfortable social interaction and are not feeling the call to return home to re-energize.

On the other hand, if you are an introvert partnered with an extrovert, grilling at home and spending quiet nights at home every weekend can literally cause an extrovert to become lethargic, irritated,  and at the extreme sad and depressed.  An introvert who doesn’t understand this may perceive that their partner undervalues him or her and feels jealous or hurt that your extrovert partner wants to spend time out going to a concert or socializing. 

Trust me, extraverts are not necessarily needy. 

They simply re-energize by being around more people and more lively social experiences.

My friend told me that after our conversation yesterday, it explained the conflict between his two children and he believes that it not having this information was the source of much conflict between him and his ex-wife, him being the introvert who wanted quiet and order at the end of a long workday before diving into parenting and interacting.  It also explained why his youngest daughter would never let him sleep in on a Saturday morning.  She would pounce on dad by eight am after she had been up for a couple hours wanting him to play. 

However, he said the most valuable area that the understanding of these concepts was to him currently was with the woman he was dating.  Last Saturday, he wanted a night in and she agreed to come see him after going to hear live music early in the evening.  At first he felt slighted.  Now, he saw her in a different light.  “Oh, she’s definitely an extrovert!  I though her wanting to see the live music before me meant that  I wasn’t that important to her.  Now, I see that she just needed more social interaction than I wanted to involve myself in that night. And actually, when she did come over, we had a fantastic time.”

Conclusion:

If you would like coaching on how to create more harmonious relationships with your children, romantic partner, or spouse,

I offer one hour or ninety minute dedicated coaching only sessions to my clients. 

I am very passionate about helping you to lead a happier, healthier and more harmonious life!

As a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Personal Development Coach with years of experience helping people to make the unconscious conscious. Once something in your life is conscious, that awareness puts you in the powerful position to create positive and lasting change.

Sign up for my coaching sessions today and start your journey towards a healthier, happier you!

IS THE OLD ADAGE "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS" REALLY TRUE?

With a career spanning 27 years in personal development, I've dedicated myself to uncovering concepts that augment our happiness, health, and prosperity. Throughout this series, I will share the breakthroughs that have shaped my journey, hoping they might illuminate yours too!

Today, we explore an age-old saying that most of us have grown up hearing: "Actions speak louder than words." We've always been told that what we do matters more than what we say. But is this adage universally true? Or is there more to the story?  For myself and thousands of clients, a more important consideration emerged: "In fact, it's more important to control your thoughts."

Decoding this enlightening perspective requires a deep dive into the interconnected realms of actions, words, and thoughts.

Why Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

There's an undeniable potency in the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words." It underscores the idea that promises and pretty speeches are worth less than tangible, visible actions. In essence, it is what we do rather than what we say that truly defines us.

In the court of public opinion, actions are our most reliable witnesses. They are tangible, noticeable, and measurable. They are the vivid paintings that illustrate our character in the gallery of life. Our words might suggest we are compassionate, driven, or disciplined, but it is our actions that provide the irrefutable evidence of such qualities.

However, as we elevate our understanding, we realize there is a layer deeper than actions, an uncharted territory that resides within us: our thoughts.

The Power of Thoughts: The Conductor Behind Actions

At first glance, focusing on actions seems more pragmatic. After all, we live in a physical world where material outcomes carry weight. But actions, as powerful as they might be, are merely the surface level manifestations of something much more profound: our thoughts.

Every action is preceded by a thought.

It is our internal dialogue, our mindset, which shapes our decisions and, ultimately, our actions.

Consequently, our thoughts are the architects of our reality.

Think of your mind as the director of an orchestra, with each musician representing an action. Without the conductor's guidance, the symphony transforms into a cacophony. To create a harmonious melody in life, controlling your thoughts—the conductor—becomes vitally important.

Why Control Your Thoughts?

To control does not mean to suppress or resist; rather, it is about understanding, directing, and cultivating our thought patterns.  

Our thoughts are like seeds; what we plant in the fertile soil of our minds determines the fruits we harvest in our lives. Planting seeds of positivity, self-love, intention, and resilience result in a bounty of empowering actions.

It is within this mind-garden that our true potential resides. By controlling our thoughts, we can reshape our beliefs, rewrite our narratives, and ultimately reorient our actions. The actions, which speak louder to the world, will then be an echo of a robust, self-affirming internal dialogue.

In my personal experience, the understanding of how important it is to manage my thoughts came to the forefront when my business had to close for several months during the Covid-19 shutdown. I found myself not only caught up in the collective fear but also fear for providing for myself and my children as a single mother.  It became apparent quickly that my thoughts could work for me or against me.  I took the lockdown time to invest in an online business development program and to begin a more diligent practice of training my thoughts to stay positive.  I perceived my mind to be like a muscle and I strengthened it everyday through challenging myself to focus on and hold thoughts that were positive.  I see it like a challenge for my rebellious self to never let any situation hold me back or down for very long.  And since then….

I tell myself that I will assume and ultimately find the advantage in every situation!

The Call to Mastery

Your thoughts are like the software code that produces your emotions and your consistent actions. Tweaking this code can bring profound changes in your actions and consequently, your life.  

It might sound daunting, but remember, you're not alone in this journey.

Helping people with this is my passion and my expertise.

Mindset coaching can be your ally, your mentor in this journey of mastering your thoughts. A mindset coach guides you to navigate your thought patterns, helping you to recognize limiting beliefs, cultivating empowering thoughts, and fostering an internal environment that promotes growth, resilience, and positivity.

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When the Future is Uncertain, That is Our Time to Co-Create

Many of you are feeling shut in, disconnected, anxious and fearful. Watch this video to give you some ideas on what you can do during this time of self-distancing during Covid-19. My love to each of you watching!

7 Ways to Have Calm During Covid-19

As the founder of the Charleston Hypnosis Center & the American Hypnosis & Coaching Academy, I can say that one of my specialties is helping people manage or overcome stress.  Moreover, in the past decade, the number of clients seeking solutions beyond traditional counseling and medications for deep seated anxiety, depression, and trauma related problems has increasingly grown.

I have been personally challenged to put my professional strategies to the test as I have navigated through loss of a best friend to brain cancer, divorce, children going off to college, and now the Covid-19 pandemic.

For myself, I created a mental arsenal of techniques I could practice, one or more steps I would take every single day for staying on top of my stress.  Because I knew that if I didn’t, it would take its toll on my health, my relationships, my attitude and my success.

Before I Offer My Suggestions…Notice How I Won’t Say Practice Meditation? –

WHY? I am laughing as I write this because one very famous personal development author recommended this to people to start doing during the Covid Crisis.  My first reaction was a big hearty laugh!   Personally, as difficult as the practice is for most people, I was thinking that if you haven’t been practicing quieting your mind regularly, you could be setting yourself up for failure if you try to meditate NOW.  I recently took some Krav Maga self-defense classes.  One of the philosophies is to practice self-defense moves repeatedly so when the real danger comes, your self-defense measures are automatic and second nature. 

If you can meditate already, ABSOLUTELY BE MEDITATING!  If you can’t, practice positive visualization and appreciation instead (See #6 & #7 below). It has the same basic physiological benefits as silent meditation like calming respiration, heart rate and increasing circulation.

Here are 7 Ways to Have Calm Under Stress of Covid-19

1)      Shift from a State of Fear to a Healthy Sense of Caution – This means take action.  Self-distance.  Prepare.  Do whatever you can do to stay safe and keep others safe.  Then, say to yourself, “I did the best that I can do to stay safe and healthy.  Now, I have to let it go of worrying about the aspects I can’t control.  Worrying and staying in fear over the aspects of this pandemic that you cannot control are just creating more stress hormones in your body which can impact sleep, digestion, focus, mood and healthy immunity. 

2)     Speak Gratitude for Your Health – This retrains your mind to focus on the good in your life instead of focusing on your worst fears. Say out loud affirmations like the following, “I am thankful for my health.  I am thankful for my body.  I am thankful for healthy immunity.  I am thankful for being healthy right now.”  Now is the perfect time to focus on appreciation of ALL that you have going that is good in your life including your health.

3)     Acknowledge What You Love About Your Home – Too often we take the basics for granted like our health and our home until something like Covid-19 happens. When we acknowledge what we love, we are focusing on the positive. Do you love your sofa or your bed? Your pillow?!  When you are sitting or lying in them, say out loud, “I love this sofa!  I love my bed!” Do you have flowers growing this spring?  Say, “I love these azaleas, they’re so pretty!” or “These roses are so beautiful!” This goes beyond gratitude.  The mind is programmed to focus on what we concentrate on and what we concentrate on grows in our awareness. 

4)     Embrace Your Emotions – There are no BAD emotions.   It takes a lot of energy and work to suppress stressful emotions.  Cry if you feel like crying.  It’s okay to be angry, just don’t hit anyone or break anything (that’s what I used to tell my kids).  If you feel anxious, remember the symptoms of anxiety are always preceded by an anxious story.  Ask yourself, “How’s that story working for me?”  Then, tell a different one.

5)     Minimize Exposure to the News and Social Media – lf you find yourself more anxious and stressed after listening to the news or reading, go on a news and social media diet. Once or twice a day updates READING the news and scrolling on social media will greatly lower your stress. This is especially true for EMPATHS or Highly Sensitive People. 

6)     Spend Time Focusing on Desired Outcomes – It is very difficult to tell yourself during times like this NOT to worry.  Not to project unwanted scenarios.  The subconscious mind is wired to keep you prepared for the worst and in, simplistic terms, to avoid pain.  Use your downtime to imagine and journal about the highest and best outcome for yourself and your family members through all of this. 

7)     Make Finding the Silver Lining Your Superpower – In the Hypnosis and NLP world, this is called reframing.  Your brain keys off how you think of something NOT on what’s real.  For your own inner calm and for your children, make it a game, then a strength and then your SUPERPOWER to seek the positive in every situation.  Become relentless about telling a positive story about what is happening.

Finally, I am grateful for each of you that have taken the time to read this far.  Let’s all throw up our hands and say a collective gratitude prayer, “Thank Goodness for Toilet Paper!”

Can Hypnosis Help You Get Over Someone?

Is Fear of Flying Grounding Your Chances of Success?

For many people, fear of flying is a problem, especially around the holidays. Some know the reason for their fears yet, others share that the fear seemed to come on over night even after years of flying without anxiety.

Over time, a fear of flying can restrict your career, social life and happiness. Work projects and family events may make flying necessary.

Even though 40 percent of passengers report fear of being involved in a plane crash, According to a 2015 report in The Economist, your chance of dying in one is roughly one in 5.4 million!  By comparison, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the individual American driver’s odds of dying as a result of an injury sustained in an automobile crash (which include pedestrians, bicyclists and motorcyclists involved in car crashes) come out to about 1 in 77 — making it one of the highest-probability causes of death tracked by the CDC.

By contrast, heart disease, the leading cause of death, kills 1 in 4 people, alcohol and drugs kill 1 in 34. 

Unfortunately, rational statistics seldom make a difference for phobias. From a fear of public speaking to flying, our phobias are rarely rational.

Can You Conquer a Fear of Flying?

While it may seem impossible, you can enjoy a calm flight. I have helped many people recover from their flying phobias through hypnotherapy.

“Rebecca, I would like to thank you for everything. With as bad as I was not wanting to fly, with your Hypnosis I had no fear at all. Just like you said. It made it that I could have a wonderful time traveling and not the fear to hold me back. I would recommend you to anyone. Thank you for giving me that back. Plus Italy is awesome. Thanks again.

— — Robert Leonard, Project Superintendent, Mississippi

Sedatives may help but for many it is still extremely stressful during the days and hours leading up to taking the meds and getting on the flight.  Furthermore, medication is masking the fear NOT resolving it.

Like any phobia, a fear of flying is rooted in your subconscious. You may have had a traumatic experience or watched a plane crash. Some of my clients discover that their fear of flying is rooted in a non-related incident that somehow gets connected to flying, for example, like a terrifying experience riding rollercoasters as a child.  Most of the time my clients had no conscious awareness of the root cause of their fears and phobias but with hypnosis, they are able to quickly identify the root cause.

Whatever the cause, even if it is irrational, your subconscious mind has created the fear trying to protect you. It associates flying with danger. Thus, the fear is created to keep you away from flying.

How I Overcame My Fear of Flying

Personally, I used hypnosis to overcome a paralyzing fear of flying.  My fear was triggered by one of the most prominent events in airline history.  I was scheduled to be on American Airlines Flight #77 that crashed into the Pentagon on 9/11/2001.

American Airlines Flight 77 was a scheduled American Airlines domestic transcontinental passenger flight from Washington Dulles International Airport in Dulles, Virginia, to Los Angeles International Airport in Los Angeles, California.  I would have been seven months pregnant with my son and traveling with one year old daughter.

Like many other people have reported after the 09/11 incident, I had a strong intuition that told me to not only change my flight but change the date AND the airport from which I was flying. 

On the day of the tragedy, I believe I went into some kind of shock as the full realization came to me that I was scheduled to be on one of the downed planes.  I was terrified to fly.  When I did fly, I was paranoid about the passengers on the plane.  I would break out into a sweat.  My heart would race and I felt claustrophobic. 

Using some of my own hypnosis techniques on myself, in less than a month, I was flying comfortably again.  This is typically a three step process that I have used for years to help thousands of clients suffering from all types of fears and phobias.

Hypnosis Helps Overcome Fear of Flying

Hypnosis is a highly effective way to feel comfortable while flying. To conquer your fear, you must address it. Hypnosis helps you to identify and clear what triggers that fear in your subconscious. Hypnosis helps to re-message the mind so that you are no longer afraid. As a result, you can escape from the panic and fear associated with it.

Most of my clients are flying comfortably in one to two sessions! If you would like to get help overcoming a fear of phobia, reach out. Virtual sessions work perfectly for this problem. I can help you from the comfort of your own home or office.

Don't Let Fear of Failure Hold You Back!

CEO of Spanx, Sara Blakely, Shares Her Thoughts on Failure.

So many of my coaching clients discuss their fear of failure. Some are immobilized to take desired action from fear. Others from perfectionism. When I watched Sara’s video for the first time, I was inspired that she grew up with such a positive mindset around failure. Mindset drives our behaviors, our reponses, everything! Watch and get inspired!

Rebecca's Workshop Featured in Firefly Sisterhood

Firely Sisterhood has written an article which features her work with breast cancer survivors.  Rebecca is the creator of "The Mermaid's Journey" an empowerment workshop series specifically created for breast cancer victims as part of a rejuvenation experience sponsored by Send Me On Vacation, a non-profit organization.

What is it about mermaids that has us mesmerized?

Their long, undulating tails as they glide effortlessly through the water? Their gorgeous hair and beautiful voices? The mythology, legends, and lore that surround them? Whatever it is, mermaids have captured our attention in books, movies, TV shows, and even making appearances at our very own Minnesota Renaissance Festival!

For a woman who has experienced a breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, a mermaid may be the absolute LAST possible thing she would compare herself to....

Checkout full article here...